- This illusion: there is something out there that can fulfill my longing and answer my needs, and that something lasts forever
- We are angry because we think we are entitled to something - the universe does not care
- Let go of illusions and integrate whatever happens by personal work
- Mourning is the appropriate response to loss
- Hurtful events from the past can become neutral facts by fully grieving the pain and so letting go of them
- Assertiveness means acting. Act as if you are already the healthiest person you can be
- Ask strongly for what you want and then let go if the answer is no
- Reassure people you love that you are asking for what you want, not demanding
- Remain focused in assertiveness and not distracted by argumentativeness
- Since assertiveness means taking care of yourself, speaking up is not always appropriate
- “This being the case, how shall I proceed?”
- Guilt inhibits imagination, the creative basis of choice
- I am still safe when I cease following the rules others have set for me
- I do not use my own integrity as a yardstick for anyone else’s behavior
- Separateness is not abandonment, but part of the human condition
- An adult shows feelings and does not use them as a pretext to be self-destructive or hurt others
- To let go of the need for retribution releases you from the pain more powerfully than vengeance ever can
- The healthy adult acknolwedges that feeling hurt is a universal human experience
- Acknowledge openly to others that sometimes you succeed and sometimes you fail, sometimes you come through for them and sometimes you let them down
- Whatever happens to me helps me grow up
- Allow others to say no to me and take it as information